TAC Reviews...Is Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer a Horrible Song??

Date Posted: 18/12/16

So I have been on this planet long enough to encounter this “Christmas” thing a number of times, initially I wasn’t especially interested in it, but as I started venturing from my ship for longer periods I experienced the season first hand. Honestly, whether someone is religious and believes the whole Jesus Christ was born on December 25^th is largely irrelevant because this time of year is about peace on earth, goodwill to all men, and so on…that in itself is something to celebrate. Naturally there is nothing that you humans cannot commercialise and as a result Christmas Stuff is in the shops from late September, the argument that Christmas has just become about buying things is not one I am going to consider for the moment.

Instead I am going to take a look at one of the Christmas songs that I have heard numerous people humans, both young and old, singing over the years.

Namely Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Take a look at the picture, does it look like Rudolph has a happy life?? Or does it look like he is on the brink of tears because of a deformity that he was unable to control, and presumably has had since birth.

So, is the song in which little children sing about a deformed reindeer being bullied by others of his kind truly as horrible as that description would indicate??

Let’s take a look to find out…

As you are undoubtedly a human being then you most probably know the words to the song unless you are a bigger humbug than Ebenezer Scrooge, however, just for the sake of convenience I have included the full song below…

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen
Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen
But do you recall
The most famous reindeer of all?
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it glows
All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
"Rudolph, with your nose so bright
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"
Then how the reindeer loved him
As they shouted out with glee
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
You'll go down in history"
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it glows
All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
"Rudolph, with your nose so bright
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"
Then how the reindeer loved him
As they shouted out with glee
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
You'll go down in history."

Right, now the first few times I heard this song I thought it was quite nice, but the more I thought about it the more I started to question that assumption…allow me to explain…

So, Rudolph is a reindeer that has a bright and shiny nose, now the other reindeer single him out because of this deformity as it says in the song…

All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games

Rudolph is effectively bullied by the other reindeer that share his stables, now during this time Santa is nowhere to be seen, he doesn’t attempt to stop the bullying, neither do any of the elves. Yes at no point in the song are elves mentioned but there must be some there to look after the reindeer, to feed them, clean up their crap and so on…why, therefore, don’t they do something to stop Rudolph being picked on?? Even if the reindeer are unable to communicate with the elves through speech, it must have been obvious, I’ve had pets before and if one is an outsider then it is clear to you as the loving owner of that animal. It makes me wonder then if the reindeer are somehow smart enough to keep their bullying subtle enough so that their Elvin masters and Santa himself doesn’t catch on that it is happening. But if that is the case then the reindeer are incredibly sneaky and are very malicious in their victimisation of Rudolph.

Maybe you could argue that Santa wasn’t aware that there was a problem with his reindeer, and yet this is a guy who apparently knows if every child in the world has been naughty or nice…perhaps his powers only extend to children not animals…let’s assume then that Santa doesn’t know the other reindeer are horrible to Rudolph.

Now as the song goes on, this happens…

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
"Rudolph, with your nose so bright
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"
Then how the reindeer loved him
As they shouted out with glee
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
You'll go down in history"
 

So AFTER Santa asks for Rudolph’s help guiding his sleigh THEN the other reindeer love him, the freak that they treated like an outcast his entire life is suddenly flavour of the month and Rudolph is just supposed to forget how the others treated him. They don’t apologise for the way they have behaved towards him over the years. Why on earth would he be so forgiving to those who had bullied him and excluded him from all of their reindeer games?? I have to say though, that thinking about it, the song does not include Rudolph’s reaction to the other reindeer suddenly being nice to him, perhaps he tells them to bugger off, or tells Santa what has been happening in the stables over the years so some swift discipline befalls the other reindeer.

It is possible I guess that this is one of those things that I am not sure I understand, perhaps as an alien observing a human festival I am missing the point. Maybe the fact that the other reindeer are horrible to Rudolph and he forgives them is the point of Christmas itself. It is about forgiving people when you have no reason to forgive them, maybe that is the real purpose of this song, we don’t see Rudolph forgiving the other reindeer but maybe it is supposed to just go without saying that he does.

To answer my original question “Is Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer a horrible song?” I originally started this article with a definite answer in mind, yes, it is horrible song, however as I have written more I am now convinced that it isn’t. Rudolph forgives the other reindeer because that is what Christmas is supposed to be about, it isn’t about buying presents for people, it isn’t about companies making money, it is about forgiveness, letting grudges go, and embracing what is good about the world rather than what is bad.

The message behind this song is therefore a powerful one, and one that I initially missed completely. So, I’ll do humanity a favour, if my people pick up the phone in the last two weeks of December I’ll hold off the invasion till after the 12 Days of Christmas…I can’t say fairer than that.

Merry Christmas Humans