During the early years of hanging on the phone waiting for the secretary to the Sub-Deputy Under Secretary Assistant to the High Commander’s Subordinate to answer my call I lazily accessed the human’s media archive and discovered that you do not have holographic technology so you cannot be part of the story you can only observe it (we don’t call holographic technology that but so you limited humans can understand what I am talking about I’ll use your terminology). “How quaint” I thought to myself, to sit and just watch a story taking place without actively being involved in it in some crucial way was a new and interesting notion to me. So with nothing but time I started watching various films, both ones from around thirty years ago when I first arrived on Earth plus ones from previous years, and I have continued to watch films and even go out to watch ones that are just being released at the cinema. I have to admit that only watching a story did start to draw me in despite that fact that I could not affect the story myself, and as my wait got longer, and longer, and longer I found myself getting more and more interested in film franchises and stand alone movies

After three decades of watching various films I now consider myself a bit of a film buff and as I have a mighty alien brain I can give my honest opinions on what I think about various films and franchises.

I have to admit that I do find it fascinating to sit with one of my skin sack’s friends in a primitive cinema and watch the same film and yet come out of it with a completely different opinion to whomever I went with. My skin sack has a friend named Gaz and I do not think that he and I have ever agreed on whether a film was good or not, if I liked it then he invariably didn’t, and if he liked it, then chances are that I would rather jam red-hot pokers into my eyes than sit through it again.

I feel I should point out that my opinions are those of a highly intelligent, dashingly hansom, and not delusional alien that has spent thirty years sitting on his arse basically doing bugger all except watching TV so can give a completely unbiased opinion and I can easily point out why a film is shit or why it is worth standing up and talking about.