The Alien Critic Reviews...
The Alien CriticReviews...

TAC Reviews...Films

 

During the early years of hanging on the phone waiting for the secretary to the Sub-Deputy Under Secretary Assistant to the High Commander’s Subordinate to answer my call I lazily accessed the human’s media archive and discovered that you do not have holographic technology so you cannot be part of the story you can only observe it (we don’t call holographic technology that but so you limited humans can understand what I am talking about I’ll use your terminology). “How quaint” I thought to myself, to sit and just watch a story taking place without actively being involved in it in some crucial way was a new and interesting notion to me. So with nothing but time I started watching various films, both ones from around thirty years ago when I first arrived on Earth plus ones from previous years, and I have continued to watch films and even go out to watch ones that are just being released at the cinema. I have to admit that only watching a story did start to draw me in despite that fact that I could not affect the story myself, and as my wait got longer, and longer, and longer I found myself getting more and more interested in film franchises and stand alone movies

 

After three decades of watching various films I now consider myself a bit of a film buff and as I have a mighty alien brain I can give my honest opinions on what I think about various films and franchises.

 

I have to admit that I do find it fascinating to sit with one of my skin sack’s friends in a primitive cinema and watch the same film and yet come out of it with a completely different opinion to whomever I went with. My skin sack has a friend named Gaz and I do not think that he and I have ever agreed on whether a film was good or not, if I liked it then he invariably didn’t, and if he liked it, then chances are that I would rather jam red-hot pokers into my eyes than sit through it again.

 

I feel I should point out that my opinions are those of a highly intelligent, dashingly hansom, and not delusional alien that has spent thirty years sitting on his arse basically doing bugger all except watching TV so can give a completely unbiased opinion and I can easily point out why a film is shit or why it is worth standing up and talking about.

 

TAC Reviews...Films...Contents Update

 
I have linked the reviews below with their pages and placed them in alphabetical order (rather than the order I wrote them in) to make navigation around the site easier for you limited humans
 
30 Days of Night
A Nightmare on Elm Street
(reboot)
An Adventure 65 million years in the Making” - The Jurassic Park Films
·       Jurassic Park
·       The Lost World: Jurassic Park
·       Jurassic Park III
·       Jurassic World
·       Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

An American Werewolf in London
Apollo 18
Arrival
Arthur Christmas
Battleship
Beverly Hills Cop Trilogy
·       Beverly Hills Cop
·       Beverly Hills Cop 2
·       Beverly Hills Cop 3

Blood and Chocolate
Bloodrayne
Brave
Broken Arrow
Crazy Stupid Love
Crimson Tide
Dad's Army
Dawn of the Dead (remake)
DC Expended Universe
·       Man of Steel
·       Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice
·       Suicide Squad
·       Wonder Woman
·       Justice League

Dead Space Downfall & Aftermath
Despicable Me Trilogy + Minions
Dredd
Elf
Embrace of the Vampire
Event Horizon
Extremely Wicked, Shockingluy Evil and Vile
Freddy Vs Jason
Gamer
Ghost Ship
Ghostbusters (2016) - A Childhood Killer??
Green Lantern
Hardcore Henry
Hollow Man 
“I'll Be Back” - The Terminator Movies
·       The Terminator
·       Terminator 2: Judgement Day
·       Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
·       Terminator: Salvation
·       Terminator: Genisys

“I'm Batman”
·       Batman
·       Batman Returns
·       Batman Forever
·       Batman & Robin
·       Batman: The Killing Joke
·       Batman: Assault on Arkham

“In Space No-One can Hear you Scream” - The Alien films
·       Alien
·       Aliens
·       Alien3
·       Alien Resurrection
·       Prometheus
·       Alien Covenant

John Wick + John Wick Chapter 2
Labyrinth
Lego Movie
Mad Max: Fury Road
Marvel Cinematic Universe
·       Iron Man
·       Incredible Hulk
·       Iron Man 2
·       Thor
·       Captain America: First Avenger
·       Avengers Assemble
·       Iron Man 3
·       Thor: The Dark World
·       Captain America: Winter Soldier
·       Guardians of the Galaxy
·       Avengers: Age of Ultron
·       Ant-Man
·       Captain America: Civil War
·       Doctor Strange
·       Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
·       Spider-Man Homecoming
·       Thor: Ragnarok
·       Black Panther
·       Avengers: Infinity War
·       Ant-Man and the Wasp
·       Captain Marvel
·       Avengers: Endgame
Monsterverse
·       Godzilla
·       Kong: Skull Island

Mystery Men
“No-one Can be Told What the Matrix is, you have to See it for Yourself”
·       The Matrix
·       The Matrix Reloaded
·       The Matrix Revolutions

One Hour Photo
Pandorum
Paranormal Activity
Ready Player One
Sausage Party
Shark Tale
Shrek
Sliding Doors
Snakes on a Plane
Spiderman Vs The Amazing Spider-Man
·       Spiderman
·       Spiderman 2
·       Spiderman 3
·       The Amazing Spider-Man
·       The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Star Wars New Episodes + Spin-Offs
·       Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens
·       Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
·       Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
·       Solo: A Star Wars Story

Team America: World Police
The BFG
The Blade Trilogy
·       Blade
·       Blade II
·       Blade Trinity

The Break-Up
The Green Hornet
The Martian
The Meg
The Mummy
“The Name's Bond...James Bond”
·       Quantum of Solace
·       Spectre

The Predator Franchise
·       Predator
·       Predator 2
·       Predators
·       The Predator

The Thing
The Voices
Thir13een Ghosts
“To Boldly go Where No-One Has Gone Before” – The Star Trek Films
·       Star Trek: Generations
·       Star Trek: First Contact
·       Star Trek
·       Star Trek: Into Darkness
·       Star Trek: Beyond

“Today we Celebrate our Independence Day” – The ID4 Films
·       Independence Day
·       Independence Day Resurgence

Tremors
Van Helsing
Wes Craven's Cursed
Whiteout
“Whoever Wins, We Lose” - Aliens Vs Predator
·       Aliens Vs Predator
·       Alien Vs Predator: Requiem

Wishmaster
Wreck-It Ralph & Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2
X-Men Cinematic Universe
·       X-Men
·       X-Men 2
·       X-Men: The Last Stand
·       X-Men Origins: Wolverine
·       X-Men: First Class
·       The Wolverine
·       X-Men: Days of Future Past
·       Deadpool
·       X-Men: Apocalypse
·       Logan
·       Deadpool 2

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