Date Posted: 25/12/17
At the beginning of 2017 let me tell you a little festive story…
As of Christmas 2016 I became bored of my isolated gaming experience as I always end up just playing games on my own, now as you know I have ventured into online gaming on occasion and generally get frustrated with random dicks who seem determined to just ruin other people’s experience. So, whilst you humans were sitting down to your Christmas Turkey dinners on December 25th 2016, I was hard at work creating “A.B.B.I.E” or an Artificial Bionic Biological Intelligent Entity if you want to know what the acronym actually stands for.
What is A.B.B.I.E. exactly I hear you ask, well, allow me to explain…
Now considering the science involved in creating A.B.B.I.E is so far beyond the intelligence of you humans that if I did try to explain it your brains would implode, I am not going to go into it, but think about Dr Frankenstein creating the Monster and that is the Sunday-school version of what I did.
Get the idea??
Anyway, I toiled away throughout the late morning and by early afternoon I had finished my gargantuan task and created life from nothing. Now unlike me Abbie doesn’t have to wear a skin-sack if she ever wants to go outside, instead I have given her a chameleon circuit which will enable her to change her form at will, so she can look like my species if she wants or a human if she wants. The female humanoid form is her preference at the moment but she can change if she so desires, plus, she can man the phone for me too
As I can feel myself getting preachy let me just say that in layman’s terms A.B.B.I.E is a humanoid life-form I built using genetic information stored within my ship’s database, who has intelligence on par with that of a human. Now due to the nature of the name, I constructed a female body and her function is to play games with me when I don’t want to play alone.
By the way, because I cannot be bothered to write “A.B.B.I.E” every time I reference her I will type her name as: Abbie
So there you go, I have created life and now I have the perfect woman, one that I can switch off when I’m bored of her, am I right fellas????
Abbie just shouted “No”, apparently I didn’t switch her off and she’s been standing behind me this whole time reading over my shoulder, so…yeah…now I have to go and apologise…